


A Choice We Make

by BookewyrmeWritesFic



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A Plant Wrote This, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, Happy Ending, Medical Procedures, Minor Character Death, Tragedy, depictions of abortion, fetal abnormalities, written in protest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 21:33:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18903067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookewyrmeWritesFic/pseuds/BookewyrmeWritesFic
Summary: Hello Darlings. I'm sure some of you are aware of the awful semi-successful attacks on abortion laws that have been happening in several US states. In case you're not, the short version is that certain segments of the population are trying to force their choice on the rest of the country in an effort to control the options for women's health-care. I've been enraged enough by this to decide to do something.I am making a donation, which you can find out more about on myTwitter, and contribute if you'd like.When things bother me, my first choice of action is to write something however. So I wrote an abortion story. This is a Sara/Mila YOI fic, but please be aware and mind the tags as this is a sensitive subject and a rather tragic story. This is one abortion story, and not an uncommon one either, but it is not the only one out there, or even necessarily the most prevalent one. It is just the one I chose to tell this time.Thank you for reading.(Spoilers in the end-notes for those who feel they need it.)





	A Choice We Make

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Darlings. I'm sure some of you are aware of the awful semi-successful attacks on abortion laws that have been happening in several US states. In case you're not, the short version is that certain segments of the population are trying to force their choice on the rest of the country in an effort to control the options for women's health-care. I've been enraged enough by this to decide to do something. 
> 
> I am making a donation, which you can find out more about on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LiaWolff/status/1130646027348922368), and contribute if you'd like. 
> 
> When things bother me, my first choice of action is to write something however. So I wrote an abortion story. This is a Sara/Mila YOI fic, but please be aware and mind the tags as this is a sensitive subject and a rather tragic story. This is one abortion story, and not an uncommon one either, but it is not the only one out there, or even necessarily the most prevalent one. It is just the one I chose to tell this time. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> (Spoilers in the end-notes for those who feel they need it.)

The moment she opened her eyes on the predawn gloom, Sara knew something was wrong. At first, she wasn’t sure what had woken her, but then the twisting stomach cramp came again. Her heart began to pound and she gasped for breath, a sudden panic gripping her. 

“Mila” she whispered into the hushed darkness. “Mila, honey wake up.”

“Mff?”

“Something’s wrong.” Another cramp seized her, rippling through her abdomen.

“Gnf?” 

Sara gripped Mila’s shoulder and shook her, nearly frantic in her fear. “Wake up, I think something may be wrong with the baby, we have to go to the hospital!”

This seemed to finally get through to Mila who sat up, blinking blearily. “Time’sit?”

Darting up from the bed, as much as her pregnancy-heavy body allowed for, Sara tossed over her shoulder “Four am, come on get dressed!”

Mila blinked at her again, seeming to finally take in her frantic state. “Sara, love, what’s going on?”

“Something’s wrong, with the baby I think, I just know it is!” Tears prickled at her eyes, and she struggled to hold in a whimper as another cramp took her with one foot in her pants and one out. 

“Ok,” Mila soothed, getting up and beginning to dress herself as well. “It’s ok, I’m sure everything is fine, but let’s go make sure ok?”

Sara didn’t bother arguing with her, just led the way out of the apartment at a waddling trot. Mila caught up to her and pressed a comforting arm around her waist. She leaned into her partner’s warmth, hoping they would be able to fix whatever the problem was.

~~~  
Hospital waiting rooms were always depressing places, but somehow sitting in one waiting for someone to _fix your baby_ was even worse. Mila kept trying to soothe her into calmness, worry in the lines of her face. But Sara would not be soothed. 

At last, a nurse came to guide them back to a room and begin asking questions, taking her temperature, and all the usual diagnostic things nurses did. In answer to the question of what had brought them in, Sara struggled to articulate her fear and panic over relatively insignificant amounts of pain.

The nurse seemed to take her concerns seriously though, and a series of diagnostics began. Examinations were had and blood tests drawn and ultrasounds taken. As they continued, the nurse’s face grew graver and graver, looking grimmer by the moment. Sara tried to ask what was wrong, but the nurse just shook her head and rushed out, not to return for some time. 

Sara wanted to throw up with fear, and Mila did her best to comfort her, but she couldn’t erase the small frown of worry from her own face.

~~~  
Their doctor was amazing. He had been Mila’s ob-gyn for years, and when they decided to have a child and Sara asked to carry it, she had started seeing him immediately. He had helped guide them both through every step of the fertility treatments and pregnancy. And he continued to do this now too. 

“Sara, Mila, I’m afraid I have very bad news.” 

Tears sprang immediately to Sara’s eyes, and she clutched at Mila’s hand between their legs on the hospital bed. Dr Rosto continued. “There seems to have been a fetal development abnormality. Imaging shows that the fetus is anencephalic. This means that a brain has failed to form properly. I’m afraid this condition is fatal in all cases.”

Dr Rosto paused, and Sara gaped at him, mind spinning out of control. There was something wrong. Their baby was doomed. 

Mila’s voice beside her sounded faint and far away. “A-are you sure? There’s...really nothing to be done?”

“I’m afraid not. Sara’s body is already beginning to reject the fetus, hence these early contractions which brought you in today. In time, you will most likely miscarry. However, it would be prudent to spare you the stress and strain of further damage to your own body by scheduling an abortion as soon as possible.”

The word jolted through Sara’s brain and she clamped her arms protectively around her stomach, crying out “No! No no, surely there’s something, another way, something to be done, some treatment. A mistake, this must be a mistake.”

Dr Rosto’s voice was very gentle as he replied. “I’m afraid there’s no mistake. I’m sorry ladies.”

“Noooo,” Sara moaned, and Mila gathered her into her arms, cradling Sara gently in her strong arms. “No no no. It can’t-I won’t...please!”

“Sara love. We have to accept what the doctor is saying. I-I can barely believe it myself, but you yourself knew there was something wrong.”

“But...I wanted to carry our baby!” Sara was sobbing into Mila’s shoulder now, more distraught than she’d ever been before in her life. “I was so happy! I did everything-I-I how did this happen? What did I do wrong?”

Dr Rosto cleared his throat and spoke softly. “I know this is hard, and it is your decision. You can continue to carry the baby until natural delivery occurs, whenever that happens. But I’m afraid the infant will not survive longer than a day or two at most even with the most intensive care. There is no firm cause, nothing I can say for sure you did wrong. It’s simply a sad fact of birth. Sometimes things just go wrong.”

Bile billowed at the back of Sara’s throat as she thought about this. As she contemplated carrying a child in her stomach for as much as five more months only to have to watch it struggle and die, she realized that it would be very akin to torture to have to endure this knowledge for so long. All the inconveniences and discomforts of pregnancy, but instead of the joy she had been feeling previously at the knowledge that she would bear a child for the love of her life, she would be left dreading the day her baby would be born only to die immediately. 

“But...I wanted the baby so badly. I...I don’t know...I”

Mila cupped her face and gently kissed each damp cheek. “Love, we can try again. If you’re afraid, I can bear the child. You know Victor or Yuuri will donate as many times as we need them to. We can keep trying, this is just a-a speedbump. We’ll get our baby.”

“But not this one,” Sara whispered. 

“No.”

“You can’t carry the child, you’re still competing. You’d have to retire. And you never wanted to be pregnant anyway.”

Dr Rosto cleared his throat again and Sara jumped. She’d almost forgotten he was still there. “As far as I’m aware, there has never been any evidence that anencephaly was genetic. You can try again as Mila suggested.”

“H-how soon?”

“Well, that’s up to you and how you feel, how soon you feel up to becoming pregnant again. You can try anywhere from a month after, though I might suggest a slightly longer period between to allow for your grief to run its course.”

Sara nodded dully, the shock having worn off. She whispered, “How soon should we have the abortion.”

“You’ll have to wait about 72 hours, but we should be able to get you scheduled right away. It will be a fairly easy process at this stage. There will be some pain, but your body is already ready to reject the dying fetus. We shouldn’t have much trouble inducing the miscarriage.”

Sara nodded again and buried her face in Mila’s shoulder, crying quietly.

~~~  
After the abortion drugs had run their course, and the nurses had cleaned her up enough to leave the hospital, Mila took her home and cared for her as if she was made of precious glass. Soft touches, and softer kisses accompanied every small task. It was off season, so Mila stayed home with her, bringing her drinks and ice-packs in bed. She tucked Sara in several times a day, waited on her as if she was a queen, and refused to let Sara so much as lift a finger for the first two days. 

Victor and Yuuri visited on day three, bringing flowers and small comfort gifts. Yuuri sat next to Sara on the couch and held her hand gently, his soft eyes full of sorrow. 

“I’m so sorry it didn’t work out this time. It was probably my fault.” 

“No!” Sara snapped, anger sudden and intense. She couldn’t go down the blame road. “The doctor said it was nobody’s fault. It just happens. You can’t blame yourself, Yuuri.”

Yuuri ducked his head and blushed, still gently stroking her hand in an oddly comforting gesture. “Well, if you still want to, we can try again. I don’t mind, I’m still flattered you would even ask at all. Or if you want to try someone else, Victor said he doesn’t mind donating instead. Think how beautiful a baby with your eyes and his silver hair would be!”

Sara burst into sudden uncontrollable tears, the kindness of their continued support with no expectations overwhelming her. “I-I’d rather the baby have your sweet n-nature,” she sobbed. 

As the days passed, gradually she began to move about more. She cried less, the bleeding slowed from a torrent to a steady trickle, and the pain in her womb receded. The pain in her heart continued, but it too began to soften, no longer full of spiked edges.

~~~  
 _One Year Later_  
Sara jolted awake with the sudden overwhelming urge to pee, and another kick to her bladder. She rolled ponderously out of bed to answer the call of nature, feeling unaccountably light for having been awoken at such an unholy hour. Slipping back in beside Mila, she let her fingers roam her swollen belly, reveling in each fluttering movement beneath her skin. This pregnancy had proceeded as if charmed. Even her morning sickness had been light and short-lived. She woke each day energized and excited to greet the day and nurture the tiny growth in her stomach. The rather more-frequent-than-normal check ups and examinations had assured them both that this baby was developing normally, and thriving even.

Her voice was a bare thread in the predawn gloom as she whispered, “Live, little one. Live, live, live.”

It was silly, but she couldn’t help the feeling that everything was going to be ok, and this baby was going to be her own small miracle.

**Author's Note:**

> Sara realizes there is something wrong with her pregnancy and goes to the hospital. While there it is discovered that her baby has a fatal fetal abnormality and they decide to have an abortion because it is still so early in the pregnancy. Sara undergoes a medical abortion and Mila cares for her through the aftermath. Yuuri offers to donate again so they can attempt pregnancy again.


End file.
